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This suggests that in homosexuality, as in every other tribulation, those works can be made manifest: Enlarging our Tent, Strengthening our Stakes. But he described his monastic experience not primarily in terms of his renunciation of those behaviors though he did renounce them but, more powerfully, in terms of his bonds of love with his fellow monks. The [homosexual] has to accept sexual abstinence just as the poor man has to forego otherwise lawful pleasures because he [would] be unjust to his wife and children if he took them. Aelred himself probably experienced what we today would call homosexuality or same-sex attraction. What am I being called to, positively?

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Shortly after he had become a Christian, and while leading, together with his wife Davy, a Bible study for skeptics and other newly converted believers, Vanauken wrote to Lewis to ask for advice about what Christians ought to think about homosexuality.

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Enlarging our Tent, Strengthening our Stakes. I feared that if I accepted the traditional Christian view that marriage is for a man and a woman and that all other erotic partnerships were ruled out, then I would be sentencing myself to a life of loneliness. But Aelred, apparently, came to distinguish between two different types of fulfillment of his attractions. In the most concrete and practical terms, I imagine a future for myself and other same-sex attracted Christians in the church when the call to chastity would no longer sound like a dreary sentence to lifelong loneliness. He characterized his former life, prior to entering the monastery, as a life of fleshly, worldly indulgence. One of the first things I read that set me off on this trail was a letter Lewis wrote to a young man named Sheldon Vanauken in Love, service, generosity, relational connectedness, friendship, and kinship are open to us.

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To renounce one thing means to be totally consecrated to another that this very renunciation allows us to realize. Shortly after he had become a Christian, and while leading, together with his wife Davy, a Bible study for skeptics and other newly converted believers, Vanauken wrote to Lewis to ask for advice about what Christians ought to think about homosexuality. The Spirit of the Age. But he described his monastic experience not primarily in terms of his renunciation of those behaviors though he did renounce them but, more powerfully, in terms of his bonds of love with his fellow monks. And perhaps this is where, for all the potential trials and temptations that come with this way of thinking, same-sex friendship represents one way for gay Christians who wish to be celibate to say: Aelred himself probably experienced what we today would call homosexuality or same-sex attraction. This negative tone or emphasis was once described by the writer Andrew Sullivan in stark terms:

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