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So, blood transfusions happened, heavy dosing of drugs happened curtesy of my current regimen and gancyclovir injections into the eyes happened — but perhaps most importantl…the new protease inhibitors happened and in combination with my other drugs created miracles. Stories to be told, Lives that have lived and loved, Entwined into mine and yours Inextricably binding us together through time. The most major decision over the last couple of years? Back in the day, there was a severe lack of counselling, and given the sheer volume of testing results coming in at that time, was cursory at its best. Change had to be fought for, had to be forced.

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If drugs and hope are the ways and means I will have to use to follow this intention through, then that is just what I will do.

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The first vaccine, p24VLP, was trialled with absolute zero results. It altered the course of my life, and for better or worse I have never looked back. It developed what I thought was a grain-of-sand-in-the-eye irritation, so off to the ophthalmologist at RPA hospital, who then passed me onto the Sydney Eye Hospital. The ongoing problems of anxiety and panic attacks and this article being written at 5am is something I am slowly getting over thanks to counselling and a letter to RBH formally requesting they look at the procedures and communication in the recovery room. I no longer allow my doctor, or the HIV establishment, or the drug companies to dictate my path to health for me.

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No more secrets, no more closet rattling skeletons from the past. Salag Bannag, the distributor of the little pink pill claims that overpeople will have received the drug by the end of this year. What has been, has been! I had a younger brother, Kevin. Censorship is alive and well within the HIV community and always has been. My partner and I had up until then a very healthy sex life, and this dropped away quite rapidly to nothing.